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| Image by Flickr user: trixnbooze |
I keep thinking about the current situation about my job and how it happened so fast. While I was hastily updating my resume to look for a new job to cure my unhappiness with my current one, an opportunity came out from no where and basically slapped me in the face. I’m now in a new position with the same company, but I don’t know for how long. I have this hidden fear that one day this position will be over and I will have to go back where I used to work and fall into an unhappy lifestyle again where my expertise is nothing but a title on a sheet of paper. It is here that I have enclosed myself into a box and never stopped to think about the opportunity I have right now and how it might actually affect my future; An opportunity to seize the moment.
By reading the first 4 chapters of “Art of Possibility”, I realized the potentials I have as well as the weaknesses I have had and still have. When thinking about giving an A to someone, it somehow calms my nerves from expecting too much and allows me to focus on how to contribute to someone else’s life or a project. This IS a realization, but NOT THE END of realizations. While giving an A to someone might make it easier for two people to work together in a more harmonious fashion, there is still the realization of giving yourself an A. For so many years I have been controlled by a never-ending urge to please everyone. It has caused me to go above and beyond to the extent that my body shuts down and causes many problems like stress or an occasional illness. This is from my past of always having to live up to an A or suffer the consequences or living up to the expectations of a parent and it never stopped. It never stopped because I never allowed it to stop. I have always given in to the persistent calculations and measurements in my head. I have always been afraid that if I don’t do the best possible work then I would fail or cause someone to feel disappointed. I have always been in the realm of self-doubt despite of what others say. This is just like what Ben Zander was describing about his students and how giving an A would open up the possibilities of being creative and not focusing on the measurements in their head. If I give myself an A first, then I feel I can start handing out A’s to other people and I can then start a successful domino effect of contribution.
Life is constantly changing and the past year at Full Sail has not only given me strength and trust in myself, but has shown me that when you work with others and recognize their contributions as well as your own, amazing things start to happen. I have always been told, “If you put your mind to it, anything can happen”. This is so true in so many ways, but you have to first realize that if you give in to self-doubt and the measurements that we are so conditioned with, you start to focus on the negative instead of the positive. You become enclosed in a box. I think that by realizing our contributions and the contributions of other people, we can start to open the lid of the box and slowly come out.
“Think Outside The Box (Evidence & Metaphor)” by Flickr user trixnbooze used under Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 license.
Website Address: http://www.flickr.com/photos/martyportier/4656059096/
4 comments:
Josh
I love your example of the box. In our world today, we are inundated with worry for the future. Our financial security, job security, getting richer, being better, everyone looking only at tomorrow. I too, love the way our readings make us reflect on perspective and its importance on the here and now. If we truly open ourselves up to today and create a positive existence doing what we can for others, our tomorrows will take care of themselves. We do need to remove ourselves from the box and live a life that matters by affecting others in positive ways. Nothing makes me feel better than when I do something for someone else without their knowing. If we look at contributions, both others, and ours I agree we can be the difference.
In regard to our journey with Full Sail, I too, think it will be significantly different without all of our time spent growing and learning. It shows me, I am definitely a person who is a lifelong learner. I do intend to keep going with technology in education one small step at a time, and hopefully end up making a contribution.
You are gifted with music and I love that you can begin to see the contribution that can have for the world. Keep making music and doing what you do!
Josh, your post was really deep. It seems like your life really opened up as a result of the reading, which is really quite powerful. I feel like I have a better idea of who you are and where you’ve come from after reading this post and also understand more about where your drive to perfection comes from. As you insinuated, perfection comes with a cost and sometimes that cost is health or stress. I suffer too from perfectionism but recently have been able to allow myself to be freed from it in situations where the end result was not critical (although I still struggle with it). I’m very excited for you and your new position as well and hope that it is just the beginning. But as you said, with a different view on the work and the people you’re working with, the old job may be “new” already.
Josh,
I can relate to everything that you have stated in your reading response. After reading “The Art of Possibility,” I too came to many realizations about my potentials and weaknesses. You made a great point that if you start to “give into self-doubt and the measurements that you are conditioned with, you will start to focus on the negative instead of the positive.” I have noticed this to be true in my own life as well. Sometimes I can be my own worst enemy because I am a perfectionist and I often have a lot of self-doubt. I often hold myself back from my true potential and enclose myself in a box. It can be hard to focus on the positive and free ourselves from the constraints and measurements, but it is necessary in order to reach our true potential. I wish you the best as you take this self-analysis journey to better understand yourself. I hope you are enjoying the book as much as I am. Good Luck!
Josh, thank you for your honesty. One of my favorite things of reading other people's blogs and responding is the realization of how similar we all are. I can relate to your anxiety of going back to your old job. How fascinating! Right now, you are in a job that you love. It is funny how we sabotage ourselves with the emotions that have nothing to do with the reality of today. Not only do we not allow ourselves to feel fully passionate and enjoy what were doing, the angst and anxiety that you feel could be misconstrued by others (your bosses). Can you imagine them thinking that they thought they put you into a good position but you just don't seem that happy. The fear you have of going back to your old position could actually sabotage your new position and put you right back in that old position. In addition, maybe your emotions have sabotaged your old position. Maybe use one that you could be perfectly happy in. I am currently in a similar situation and contemplating the same issues.
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